Alert Jeff Foxworthy

01/28/2012

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        I am afraid I am more Southern than I would have ever imagined. I was working on my latest book tonight and one of my characters was in someone’s house who had passed out from drinking. He was going to order this person a pizza or something to eat when they woke up. So, he decided to look for a phone book or on the fridge for one of those magnets that some pizza places give out so you always have their number handy. I actually typed the word frigerator into the document and was puzzled when the automatic spell check put a red line under the word. I could not figure out how I had spelled frigerator wrong. I tried adding a “d” and taking away an “e” and finally I got out my dictionary. I sat there in shock and awe when I did not find a listing for frigerator.

 
        Somebody call Jeff Foxworthy. You might be a redneck if…   you think frigerator is an actual word… Who would have thunk it?

**Disclaimer** I have been sick and taking prescription strength cough medication. I think that alleviates me from all humiliation and persecution, right?
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Slammed - Colleen Hoover - Book Review - (the strangest review ever)

01/20/2012

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        I have to preface this post and this review with a little bit of backstory for the sake of full disclosure. I joined a writers’ community a month or so ago for the purpose of learning from others and offering what little advice I might have into the online conversations. I am pretty comfortable with my writing ability but completely lost when it comes to technology, formatting, the Internet, and almost all things computer related. (I type with three fingers and one thumb-it’s a sight for sure) I have my bad days and times of pessimism, but I generally like to imagine the world mainly consists of kind, goodhearted people. Yes, there are some very good people in the writers’ community, but I also found jealous, hateful, and downright despicable humans that made me question humanity as a whole. (Really)

        You might be thinking, “Wow! I have never read a book review that started like this.” Bear with me for just another moment.

        Enter Colleen. Colleen is also a new member of the forum. Colleen is obviously the author of Slammed. Colleen’s book has taken off in the Amazon ranks and is garnering a great amount of praise in the reviews section. She struck a chord not only in readers’ minds but also in the writers’ forum. I guess struggling writers hate nothing more than to witness the success of a newbie. I watched from the side as the vitriol, venom, and heated discussions about her quick rise demonstrated the ugliness that arises from jealousy.

        Enter your hero. (That would be me) I’m the guy who likes to think he is a tough guy but in all honesty I am a sap—ask my wife—I cried once during a sitcom. OK, twice. The Publix commercials get me teary. I was the guy in elementary school who sat with the kid at lunch who had no friends—maybe it’s because at one point my best friend was a rope (definitely another story for another time). I’ve bought homeless people beer on more than one occasion because I knew they needed a drink. And more than anything, I can’t stand to see someone picked on. Been there—it sucks.

        So, I downloaded Slammed and I will tell you, the jealous hordes have plenty to be envious of indeed. Instead of giving you a synopsis of the book—the book jacket and Amazon description can do a better job of that—I am going to tell you how it made me feel. (Remember, I am the touchy-feely tough guy?)

        I love to feel like I am a part of something. My favorite television show of all time was Northern Exposure. I felt like I belonged in that town with those people. I cared for them all in unique ways. Within a few pages of Slammed, I felt like I belonged in their town. I feel like the street the characters live on is somewhere I have actually visited and I care about each and every one of them for different reasons.  I can further describe it as it might feel when you travel somewhere you have never been and you feel deep inside you have been before. Maybe you’ve met someone at some point in your life who you immediately felt a connection with as if you have known them for as long as you can remember. Slammed will give you all those feelings and more.

        I imagine Ms. Colleen Hoover to be an incredibly funny person as it shows in her writing. Humor pops up time and time again in her quick and witty dialogue. Her characters’ quirks and thoughts will have you laughing aloud. (So be careful if you read this on public transit or in a waiting room—people might think you’re weird)

        And… you will probably shed a tear (or two). I was so happy my wife was sleeping soundly by my side when I reached one point because although I cry at commercials, I have never, ever, ever, cried from reading a book. I had a lone tear fall down my face. OK, it was two tears—or three, but I swear it was no more than four.

        Slammed takes some pretty unexpected turns and has those twists that make all great books great and memorable.

        I was also extremely impressed by the poetry. Poetry? Yes, poetry. You see, a slam is a poetry competition. Contestants get on stage and recite or perform original works and they are judged. The poetry in the novel takes the feelings to another level as the poems are deep, moving, and powerful.

        So, with absolutely no experience as a book reviewer, I hope you will take my strange review and my advice and read Slammed.

 

        ***To get back my tough guy image my next book review will possibly be: Pit Barbeque Secrets, or a book about the Mob, or running moonshine—I wonder if they have Rambo in book form?...

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A New Year

01/01/2012

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           As we start a new year I am excited to be 15,000 words into writing the sequel to Birdsongs. The plot is coming along nicely and I have a very good feeling about what is happening with the story. It is like I never left the characters and they welcomed me home with open arms. I am glad I took a couple months off this year as I was in limbo as what to work on after finishing Camp Timber View. I feel I made the right choice as I will finish The Painter one day in my not too distant future.

           Baptized by Jim, the sequel to Birdsongs will not be ready this year, but I did just receive The Big Stinky City manuscript from my editor and look forward to publishing it in the late spring or early summer. I have not yet opened the envelope she shipped it in as I know as soon as I do I will be obsessed with making the corrections and taking the next steps in the life of the book. I’ve always heard that once a book is finished, a writer should put it away for a while and let it rest for a month or so. After being so close to something for so long it is good to have the ability to look at it with fresh eyes.

           I would like to promise that I will try to be more active on the blog, but I don’t want to start off the year with a lie. I can promise that I am going to be a better writer than I was last year and not quite as good as I am going to be in 2013.

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